I need you, John
by awesomesockes
Summary: Sherlock's drug use goes a bit wrong. John helps him to get well again, but it's not easy for Sherlock to quit the drugs. "What if he really loved him? Not just as a really good friend, not as a brother, but maybe as a..." Contains: Drug use, fluff. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes
1. Chapter 1

**Story tiime!**

**__****If you have made it this far, please, please continue! I ****__****I promise it will be entertaining**(;

**This is my very first fanfiction! I repeat, the first! And I don't normally write and speak English (I know that's not an excuse for bad english skills, but it's an excuse for easy written english, so everyone can read this! yay). _I sometimes read this myself, because I think it's good and I regret nothing!(;_ I did my best. Enjoy!  
**

**Love you all! **

Sherlock was asleep on the couch. He had been asleep for some time now. John had let him sleep even though Lestrade had called.

The radio was on, classic music was felling the room. Mostly because Sherlock didn't like all the new popmusic. "It is killing the brain!" he always said. John didn't mind. The classic music was relaxing. Just that they needed.

John sat in his old brown chair with today's newspaper and a big cup of tea. He locked at the clock, 11.20 PM. It was getting late, but he couldn't sleep anyway.

Sherlock had not been himself lately. He was sleeping more, eating less. Even though John had cooked him homemade meals every day. John had a feeling of that was going on, but he did his best not to think about it. God, he hoped he was wrong.

"I'm not feeling so well, John.." Sherlock mumbled from the couch. Where was something unusual about his voice.

"Oh, you are awake. Do you need help to go to bed?" John tried his best not to sound worried. But by the time he had finished his sentence, Sherlock was already at the door to the hallway. John put down the newspaper and was about to stand up, then he heard a big bump and the sound of something brake.

"Sherlock..."

John hurried to the hallway where he found his best friend collapsed on the floor.

He was still breathing, but it was slow and heavy. John checked his pulse. It was weak. He knew that was going on. Oh god..

"Sherlock? What did you take? How much and how long ago?" John knew, even though Sherlock hadn't told him anything. He guess he had known for a while, but was ignoring the facts. Maybe to protect himself from getting hurt.

"Sherlock. Look at me!" John was shaking Sherlock to get him to answer.

His eyelids was vibrating, he was really trying to open his eyes. But he couldn't.

"Speak to me. What did you take? How much and how long ago?" John repeated, now in a higher voice to make sure Sherlock would hear him.

"Morphine... Cocaine... Don't remember and.." He was just about to go to sleep. His pulse slowed further down.

"SHERLOCK!" John shouted this time.

"Maybe an hour ago... less than an hour... a half.. maybe 20 minutes"

He guessed Sherlock had injected the cocaine and swallowed the morphine. But he hadn't heard him do it.

John's brain was working fast.

"Okay. I'm so sorry for doing this Sherlock, but I have to" John helped Sherlock of the floor. He couldn't stand up by himself. He couldn't even sit. John was doing his best to hold his friend up and dragged him all the way to the bathroom. Placed him in front of the toilet and stuck two fingers down his throat. John was trying to make him throw up. Maybe it wasn't too late to get the morphine out of his system.

It was working. "That's it Sherlock. Just get it all out." John was holding Sherlock's head while he was throwing up. He had a fever. Maybe because of the cocaine.

Sherlock threw up again, this time he hit John's arm. "..'am srry"

"It's okay Sherlock. Don't think about it." John laid Sherlock's head on the toilet seat while he pulled off his sweater. He checked his pules again. Slow but regularly. He was still not out of danger. John looked at Sherlock, lying there on the toilet seat with his thin pale arms around his head and the toilet. John hadn't really notes before how skinny Sherlock actually was. He was sweating and his breathing was gasping.

"Need to go again?"

"... yes.." Sherlock's arms dropped to the floor. John held Sherlock's head and gently dragged his hand through Sherlock's brown curly hair to remove it from his face. Sherlock threw up again. He was trying to say something, but John shushed him and he threw up one more time. Sherlock putted his head down to rest on the toilet seat again. John though it might be over now.

"Can you stay there by yourself for a second Sherlock?" John asked and rubbed Sherlock's shoulder.

".. sure.. whatever you ask, John.."

"And try not to fall asleep!"

"... I'll try.. I'll.."

John ran into the kitchen. Grabbed the bucket from under the sink and a bottle of water. Ran into Sherlock's bedroom to fix the bed and wrapped a towel around his pillow. Placed the bucket beside the bed and then hurried back to the toilet. Sherlock hadn't moved from his position in front of the toilet. John took a cloth and cleaned Sherlock's face. He was shaking and sweating. The fever had raised a bit.

"Sherlock? Sherlock, can you hear me?" John shook Sherlock's shoulder.

".. yeah John. I'm here.." He tried to open his eyes, but failed

"Okay. I'll get you into bed now. Just relax." John took Sherlock under each arm and pulled him of the floor. Placed Sherlock's arm around his shoulder and hold him up the best he could. Dragged him to the bedroom and gently laid him in the bed.

"Here, drink some of this." John gave him the bottle of water. Sherlock took a sip and handed it back to John.

"No.. More Sherlock. You threw up quite a lot. You are dehydrated" John got him to drink half of the bottle. That was okay for now. Too much maybe get him to throw up again. John checked his pulls and breathing. The pulse was still low and the breathing was still bad. But John didn't think that the morphine had got to Sherlock's system. He got it out in time. Thank god.

"Okay. Try to sleep now. I'll stay right here, just say if you need anything. I'll not leave you Sherlock. Do you understand?" John was so afraid, so angry and so sad, but he tried to hide it. Sherlock didn't need a friend who was afraid and angry right now. He needed a friend that would make him feel safe.

"Thank you, John. I'm so sorry. You are the best friend... I love you.."

John wasn't sure if it was the drugs talking or Sherlock himself_. I love you. _What was that suppose to mean? But Sherlock wasn't making a lot of sense.

"Don't think about it. Just try to sleep. We will talk tomorrow then you are feeling better." John gently stroked Sherlock's hair and he was asleep.

John sat on the end of the bed for about half an hour. Just watching Sherlock breath. The words_ I love you_ was still flying around in John's mind. What if he really loved him? Not just as a really good friend, not as a brother, but maybe as a...


	2. Chapter 2

"Lestrade." John mumbled to himself. He needs to know what was going on. "Mycroft.." No, Sherlock would not appreciate that. He left the bedroom, walked to the living room to find his phone and turn of the radio. It was 12.30 AM, but John was sure Lestrade wouldn't be mad at him for calling.

"Lestrade." Said a tired voice.

"Hi, it's John." John stood in the door opening to the bedroom. He wouldn't take his eyes of Sherlock more than necessary. He was still shaking a bit in his sleep.

"Things are bad Greg."

"What? With what? Sherlock? What's wrong this time?"

"Drugs.." John tried to make it short, but clear. "I just thought you should know. He took quite a lot this evening, I think. He hasn't told me how much. Mostly because I maybe asked him too late so he couldn't remember. But I got him to throw some of them up before it made it to his system." John took a short break to look at Sherlock. Still breathing, good. "It's okay now. He's asleep. I'll talk to him when he wakes up and feels better."

"Do you have any idea why?" Lestrade was worried, John could hear it in his voice

"No. Maybe.. I don't know. I'm a bit confused." John rubbed his forehead. "I guess I knew what he was doing for a while, but I have not asked him directly."

"Okay. This is not good, but It sounds like you have everything under control John. I'll call in the morning to check up on him."

"Please don't tell Mycroft. I'm sure Sherlock wouldn't be happy."

"I don't. Goodnight John. Thanks for calling. Take good care of him."

"I will. Goodnight."

Lestrade hang up. John stood in the door opening for a second thinking about what to do. He was tired, but afraid to sleep. What if Sherlock starts feeling bad again and John was just sleeping and couldn't help him. He took a chair from the kitchen and placed it near the bed. Another two hours went by.

"Sherlock? Wake up. Sherlock, you need to drink some water. And I need to take your pulse and your temperature." No response.

"Sherlock, can you hear me? Wake up!" John took Sherlock's shoulder and shook it a bit.

"What.. what's happening.." Sherlock was a bit hard to understand, but he opened his eyes the best he could. John looked at him. His world was spinning , but he could tell from the quick look he got of John's face, that he was worried.

"You need to drink some water. And I need to take your pulse and your temperature." John repeated. He stuck the thermometer in Sherlock's mouth, surprisingly was he okay with that. John took his wrist to check the pulse. Still a bit too low, but not dangerous. 38,5 Celsius. John was a little relieved, Sherlock was a bit better.

"Drink some of this then you can go back to sleep." He handed him the full bottle of water. "Sherlock, don't drink all of... Not so fast. Don't.."

"What? I was thirsty..." He mumbled and laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

John sighed. "Yes but.. Then you drink that fast and you don't feel well you might..." Too late. Sherlock leaned over the edge of the bed, trying to hit the bucket. "... throw it all up again.." John grabbed Sherlock's head and held it over the bucket. It was only water, but it was also all of the water he just drank.

"I told you." John sat back in his chair then Sherlock was finish. "Drink some more. But not all of it! And slow down. You moron." John smiled a little, but was still concerned about his friend.

Sherlock was asleep. John was so tired he couldn't barely hold his eyes open. _Just 5 minutes_. No! He couldn't fall asleep. Sherlock needed him. He took another position in his chair. _Oh god, this is even more comfortable._

It was not more than 20 minutes. John woke up with a shock. He just had a feeling that something was wrong. But nothing had changed. Sherlock was still peacefully asleep. He had stop shaking. Without even thinking John walked around the bed and laid down beside Sherlock. He just couldn't stay awake any longer.


	3. Chapter 3

"I didn't knew you would join me in bed John."

"Jesus, Sherlock you scared me." John was looking straight into two tired and very beautiful green-blue eyes. "Sorry, I was just so tired. I tried to stay awake, but I couldn't. And I wouldn't leave you. How are you feeling Sherlock?"

"I don't mind John. And I'm.. okay I guess." But Sherlock didn't look something close to okay. His eyes were red and swollen. He was shaking a bit and his breathing was gasping. He would soon need a new fix.

"Breath slowly Sherlock. In... out... in... out..." Sherlock did as he was told. It helped.

"What happened John?" Sherlock was still looking straight into John's face. Nothing more than a half meter between them.

"I'm more asking you what happened Sherlock?" John got out of the bed.

"No need to try and keep it a secret any longer I see." Sherlock shook a bit more now. "I'm sorry John. I.."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what is going on." John kept a straight face.

"I maybe went a bit too far yesterday.. I wasn't intended to. I didn't look closely enough on the dose... and.."

"If I didn't had got you to throw up you would have been dead Sherlock! The morphine would had got into your system too" John was angry, but also just about to cry. He loved Sherlock, maybe more than he admitted. And he certainly couldn't picture a life without him.

"Arh yes. The morphine.." Sherlock leaned his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Can you get up?" John dried his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I think so. I can try.." Sherlock tried and then paused. "John.. Can you... eh, can you help me?" Sherlock was weak, his muscles wouldn't cooperate. He was shaking. Sherlock normally got out of bed before John, so he wouldn't notice the abstinences from the drugs. But this time it was different. Sherlock knew he had gone too far with the drugs so he was weaker than usual.

"Of cause I can. Here, hold my hand." John bend down and helped him up and into the living room.

"Tea?"

"What.. oh yes, that would be lovely, thank you." Sherlock was in his own thoughts, but John knew what he was thinking of. He sat down in his chair in front of him. "Now tell me Sherlock, what is going on? Why are you doing this? Please tell me, you know you can tell my anything, right? No more lies." John was putting his most friendly and controlled voice on. He laid his hand on Sherlock's knee.

".._need some more.. where. John.." _Sherlock was mumbling to himself. He was shaking.

"What?"

"Have you ever felt like you can't catch up with your brain? Like it is moving too fast and you can't stop it no matter how hard you try?" Sherlock leaned back and closed his eyes. "You see everything, you hear everything, and it is getting out of control. You get angry and you don't know why. You try and shot it off, but you just can't! You get desperate and will do anything, just to get some peace from yourself.." John could see tears roll down Sherlock's face. He was crying, Sherlock Holmes was actually crying. John's heart stopped for a second. To see Sherlock cry was more painful than expected. He was sure Sherlock had never told this to anyone. "It's just so..."

"It's okay Sherlock. I'm here. Please stop cr..." His voice was cracking. ".. ying."

Sherlock looked up. Straight into John's face.

"I can't stop it! I just can't! And I want to. Drugs are the only thing that can, John. Give me some, I need some, now!" Sherlock raised from his chair. John did too.

They look straight into eat others eyes. "No." John said in a hard voice an turned around_. I love you too much for that Sherlock. I can't stand seeing you doing this to yourself._ John was desperate to say it out loud. But Sherlock was to angry to understand anything. "Set down Sherlock. No need to stand up. You need to relax.." Sherlock sat down.

"Please John. Please.. Just some morphine then. Just one pill." John sighed. "A half? And aspirin then. My head is killing me.." Sherlock was getting more desperate. John stood with mixed feelings.

"You can have two aspirins, nothing more. And some food. Bacon and eggs, sounds good?" John went to the kitchen, got two aspirins and a class of water.

"Here. And shut up now would you?" John went back to the kitchen to make the food. His phone was ringing. It was Lestrade.

"He's okay now, just a bit angry. But I think it's the abstinence talking." John lowed his voice as much as he could.

"Good. I will go again. You are a good friend John. He is lucky to have you. Don't let him forget that!"

Then John got back to the living room, he found Sherlock asleep in his chair. He looked so innocent, peaceful and so beautiful. _Beautiful. _Why was he thinking that way? Sherlock, his best friend. He couldn't think that way.

"Get up, food is ready." He poked Sherlock with a fork. "Wake up.." Sherlock was tired, but opened his eyes.

"I'm not hungry John, let me sleep.."

"No. No, no. You have to eat. No escape." He placed the plate on Sherlock's lap. "Eat it."

They sat in silence. Eating. Sherlock didn't look happy about it, but did it anyway. He loved John too much to hurt him more that morning.

It was just a horrible day. Sherlock was angry, sad, afraid and desperate. He had been on the drugs for about two months and now he was taking a cold turkey. John couldn't do anything. He was afraid to leave him. Maybe Sherlock would do drugs while he was out so he stayed home and just watched Sherlock getting more and more desperate and dangerous to himself.

"Come on John." Sherlock stood right behind him holding his shoulders.

"Stop Sherlock. You are hurting me." Sherlock hold very tight.

"Just... give... me.. my... dRUGS!" Sherlock was angry. He would do anything.

"No, Sherlock." John tried to get away. Sherlock raised his hand. He would hit John and he wouldn't regret it. It was his fault. He could just give him the drugs. John shook a bit, he knew what Sherlock was thinking of and he was sure he would do it. _Don't Sherlock, please._ Sherlock hold his breath.

"I'm s..so.. sorry..." He let go of John. John turned around, Sherlock's eyes were red. He ran out and into the bathroom. John followed, he was nerves of what Sherlock might do. He could hear mumbling through the door. Sherlock was talking to himself, trying to calm himself down.

"Come out Sherlock. It's okay. I'm not mad. You are not yourself right now.. you.."

"You are wrong John! I am myself. And I'm scared of myself.. _I would never... hit you.. John.. I love.._"

"Come out anyway. You can't stay in there all day." Sherlock slowly opened the door. John smiled a concerned smile to him.

"I'm sorry about your sweater.." Sherlock look a bit embarrassed.

"Don't think about it Sherlock. It is only a sweater, I can by a new one. But I can't by a new one of you.." John gave him a quick hug. It felt weird, but also heart warming.


	4. Chapter 4

Sherlock laid on the floor. He had for a couple of hours now. Most of the time he was sleeping and if he wasn't he mumbled something about some cases. John didn't mind him lying there. He liked looking at him in his sleep. He just sat on the couch looking at him for hours that day. John smiled to himself. _Sherlock, why are you so perfect? _Oh god, he shouldn't be thinking that way.

Sherlock woke up crying. He was more desperate now than ever before.

"John I can't take his anymore! Please put it to an end. Give me some or just kill me! _Can't stop my brain.._"

"You're going to be alright Sherlock. Here, eat some of this." John handed him some of the lasagne from yesterday. It was evening.

"I can't think of food right now.."

"You can, then I say you can." John liked commanding with Sherlock. Because Sherlock normally wouldn't do anything he was told.

Even though Sherlock had slept most of the day, he was still tired. He sat in the chair with a bad feeling. He knew he had let John down. He was so sorry. He wanted to make it right, he wanted to make John feel happy again. _John, I love you._ But the words was only in Sherlock's head. He just sat there, looking at John reading the newspaper_. You look beautiful today John._ For the first time that day Sherlock was thinking straight. But then again. This was not normal. Sherlock hadn't thought that way about John for a while. Maybe because of the drugs. Or it was because of the drugs. _I need a hug John, I don't want to be afraid anymore. I'll quite the drugs, just for you. Please love me._

"Can I get some morphine to sleep on? Just one. Please John." He tried his best not to beg to much. He was shaking really bad. "Please John.." He looked at John, but his eyelids where about to close.

"I think you can sleep on your own Sherlock. "

"No! Please, just a half. And aspirin.."

"How stupid do you think I am? I love you too much and..." John stopped. He couldn't say that.

"What? Can I have some?"

"I mean..." John was about to give up. "Okay... You can have one morphine. Just the one, and then you go straight to bed." John wasn't happy about doing this, but he couldn't take it anymore.

"Thank you John.. You are too kind.."

"Yeah, I know... Here." John knew he would regret it later. He handed him a pill from his pocket. Sherlock took and swallowed it without even bilking. They both stood up.

"I'll be there in a minute Sherlock. Just go into bed."

"You don't have to sleep with me!" But Sherlock felt a rush through this stomach by that though. He would like John to sleep beside him.

"Yes I have to. You is my responsibility and I will not let you sleep alone." Sherlock smiled a bit. John came back in his pyjamas. Sherlock had always liked that pyjamas. John looked so cute in it.

"Lie down and try to sleep." John walked around to Sherlock's side of the bed. Pulled the covers around him and kiss him in his forehead...


	5. Chapter 5

**Some small sexual situations appears in this chapter. But I don't like things to become too creepy. If you know what I mean. So don't worry!**

_He do not feel the same way. _John had gone out of the room. Shocked about that he has just done.

_He do not feel the same way. _Sherlock laid in the bed. Confused. John didn't feel the same way, he was sure.

"John, come back" Sherlock shouted with a weak voice.

John stood in the bathroom. "Why did I do that..." He shook his head.

"John, come back would you?" He morphine was about to work. John could hear it in Sherlock's voice.

"I'm sorry Sherlock.. I wasn't intended to do that.. I was.." John stood the door opening.

"It's okay John. Just come to bed." John doubted for a moment. Lying there, beside Sherlock. His best friend he had just kissed. It was a bit awkward, but he did it. He couldn't let Sherlock sleep alone.

They were looking straight into each other's eyes. Sherlock leaned forward and kissed John on the lips. John was shocked, but overwhelmed with emotions.

Sherlock pulled back. "I'm sorry John.. I.. I know you don't feel the same way.. But the drugs.. and I... and you lying there.. and.."

"_But I do feel the same way.._" John tried to say it out loud, but it was only a whisper.

"What?" Sherlock had turned around.

"I do, Sherlock... I think I do feel the same way.."

Sherlock turned around, looked at John for a second and kissed him on the lips again. Sherlock's heart was melting. It was just as he thought it would be. Oh god he had wanted to this for a long time. They kept going on with the kissing, it was getting more serious, more intense. John, in his cute pyjamas, his soft lips and with his cute dog eyes. Sherlock couldn't resist the temptation and stuck his hand down into John's pants. They moved closer to each other. John kissed him all the way down to his neck. Took his hands around him and touched him down his back. He then pulled off Sherlock's shirt and touched his chest. He could feel his heartbeat. It was fast. Sherlock was sweating. John stopped.

"This isn't right Sherlock.. We need to stop. I can't.. Not while you are on drugs." He hated himself for stopping. He really wanted to continue. Sherlock was just perfect. "I can't do this then you're drugged. The morphine remember?" _Why did I give him that pill? Stupid.._

"What if..." Sherlock tried to catch his breath. "What if you were on drugs too?"

"Sherlock, don't be stupid.. I'm a doctor."

"And? What is stopping you? If we both where on drugs it might be more fun." John looked at Sherlock like he was out of his mind. "For god sakes John. It was only one pill you gave me! I'm used to take much more than..." Sherlock stopped. John sat up, he was shaking and his eyes were red.

"Stop.. I just can't stand seeing you do this. I try not to care about what you are doing with your life, Sherlock. I really try. But I just can't! You understand. I can't! You are more important to me, then I ever imagine you would be. And it hurts me deep down that you see the need to do drugs. I just don't understand and I'm sorry!" John was crying. "I don't know how it is to have a mind like yours, Sherlock. But sometimes I wish that mind could think a little more about other people's needs."

Sherlock got up and hugged John from behind. He laid his head down on his shoulder.

"I am so sorry John. I really am. I didn't knew you felt that way. I would never hurt you! Sometimes it all just becomes too much.. I have never had someone in my life who really cared about me. And It's new for me to actually care about someone. And sometimes I forget how much you mean to me and how much you do for me. My life is turning around you John." He kissed John's cheek. "I'll try to make it right. I'll try to be clean. For you.."

"Don't do it just for me. Do it for yourself.. Here, put your shirt back on. We both need a good night's sleep." Sherlock looked disappointed. He had really look forward to coddle up the John. Now he had ruined his opportunity. They both laid down.

"I love you so much Sherlock. I really do..."

John woke up because he felt something touching his stomach. Sherlock had placed his arm around him and was holding him close. He wrapped his duvet tightly around John. John smiled, this was all he have ever dreamt of, without even knowing. John moved a bit closer to Sherlock, took his hand and kissed it. Sherlock was really warm.

"_John...my John.. I love... don't go..._" Sherlock was mumbling in his sleep. John could listen to Sherlock's voice for hours. Why hadn't he notice before? Sherlock's voice was unbelievably sexy. But god he was warm. John was about to be a little concerned. Did Sherlock had a fever or was he just hot because of John's body heat and all the duvets? He took his pulse. It was a bit low. But he didn't want to wake him up and ask if he was okay. He was finally asleep and John liked spooning with him. John hugged and kissed Sherlock's hand one more time, moved as close as possible into him and fell asleep.'

John could hear a strange noise from the living room. Someone was seeking for something...


	6. Chapter 6

John could hear a strange noise from the living room. Someone was seeking for something. He then heard the sound of a door being slammed hard. John tired dried his eyes with the back of his hand. It was early. Only 5 in the morning.

"Sherlock, did you hear that?" He turned around to look at Sherlock laying on the other side of the bed, but he only found empty sheets. John cleared his throat so he could speak louder. "Sherlock, where are you?" John got out of bed, but only to find the flat completely empty. _Shit, shit, shit. Sherlock is gone._ John knew what Sherlock was about to do and it was not an early case who needed his help. John grabbed the first pair of pants he could find, he didn't care if it was Sherlock's or who it was. Pulled them over his pyjamas. He then ran down the stairs, grabbed his coat and stormed out of the door, out in the cold fresh morning air. Not many people were on the streets on this ungodly hour. He took a few deep breaths and began to run down the street while he was shouting Sherlock's name. He didn't exactly knew where Sherlock was going, but he had a clue. Sherlock had many connections in London's underground through his homeless network. John had been there a couple of times with him because they needed help with some cases. Sherlock was on a drug hunt and he was desperate. The homeless had the easiest and quickest access to drugs.

_Sherlock can't have gone far._ John was thinking the worse. What if Sherlock took some bad drugs in his desperation? Or an overdose? John ran down the ally there him and Sherlock once talked to a woman who obviously was drug addicted. John's heart stopped. As he turned around the corner he saw a dark shadow lean against the wall. It felt like the time stood still. Nothing was moving. The only thing John could hear was his own breath. _It's not too late. It's not! He can't be.. _John ran towards Sherlock. His heart was bumping so fast he could feel it in his throat.

"Sherlock please. Please speak to me. Please..." John kneeled down beside Sherlock. He took his hand under Sherlock's chin to lift his head up. "Look at me."

"Hi John." Sherlock said with a little smile on his lips. His eyes were open, but John could tell his world was spinning and he couldn't focus on anything. The needle was still in Sherlock's arm. John pulled it out and threw it away.

"Ambulance..." John was shaking and could barely speak. He took out his phone, tried to stay calm, called the ambulance and told them where they were. "Look at me Sherlock! Don't go to sleep."

"I'm so sorry John... I tried... but it was too much... I couldn't handle it.. my brain.. all the thoughts. I really was trying.. it got out of control... I couldn't stop myself.."

" It's okay now. I promised everything was going to be all right. And it will, but it takes more than one day.. Look at me." Sherlock lifted his head from his knees. "You understand? You can go through this. We can go through this. I will not leave you. I promise. No matter how long it will take."

"I am too much for you John.. I'm not worth your time. This is something I most do myself." Sherlock was trying to stand up.

"Don't be silly!" John grabbed Sherlock's hands and dragged him back down. "Together we will fight the demons in your head. Just like if it was one of our cases." John wrapped his arms around Sherlock and gave him a hug. "I love you Sherlock.." He was holding him close.

John could feel Sherlock relax in his arms. "Don't sleep! The ambulance will be here in a minute. Hold on." Sherlock took a deep breath and then threw up down on himself. He was still wearing his pyjamas.

"I don't feel so well John. I'm sorry.. It's all spinning around.." Sherlock leaned his head up against the cold wall and closed his eyes. John realised him from his arms. "I'm scared John... please don't let go..."

"I can't hold around you while you are throwing up." John laid a hand on Sherlock's forehead and one under his chin so he wouldn't suffocate in his own vomit. He was sweating.

"It's your own fault if I hit you.." Sherlock was trying to hold it back, but looked up at John and smiled a little.

"I don't care. Worse things had happened." John smiled a concerned smile back to his friend.

Sherlock could see red and blue lights through his closed eyes. He could hear the sound of people around him, but it was like they were so far away_. I'm so sorry John. I didn't mean this to happen. It was not my plan. I would never hurt you. _But the words was only inside his head. He could feel someone, or something lift him up from the ground. _It's like flying, everything will be good now._ Sherlock smiled to himself, but was not aware if anyone could see it or it was only himself who noticed. _John... John_... John "John?"

"I'm right here Sherlock. Don't worry." John was so concerned and afraid he could barely breath or speak.

"I need.. I need you John. Please help me. I will not.. I cannot die like this. I really need you.." John had never heard Sherlock so afraid.

"I will fix this Sherlock. You can trust me. I will never leave you. I know you can do this and I will help you the best I can." John leaned forwards and kissed Sherlock's forehead. They were in the ambulance. The medics were doing their jobs. John sat by Sherlock's side holding his hand and stroked his hair. "We are on the way to the hospital. Just relax. They are only here to help you. And don't worry. I'm keeping an eye on every single one of them." John squeezed Sherlock's hand a bit. "You just need to have control again. And I know you can do it!"

"I love you John. Don't you ever forget that." Sherlock said thought the oxygen mask.

"I love you too.."

"_I need you_."

**Finish!**

**This is not my last Sherlock story! But I don't know when the next will be up. Sorry!(; But it's not the last!**

**I can't believe how many views this have! I really didn't expect that, at all. Thank you! And favourite it if it's one of your favourites. Thank you! ^_^**


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